Frequently asked questions

What happens in the first session?

You talk, in whatever order it comes out, and I listen. There is nothing to prepare and no right way to start.

I will ask some questions to understand what has brought you here, we will talk about what you are hoping for, and I will explain how I work. By the end you should have a reasonable sense of whether this feels right.

Is what I say confidential?

Yes, with limits that I want you to know about in advance rather than discover later.

I discuss my work in regular clinical supervision, which is a requirement of ethical practice. My supervisor is also bound by confidentiality, and I do not use identifying details.

There are situations where I may need to break confidentiality: where there is a serious risk to your life or someone else's, where a child or vulnerable adult may be at risk of harm, or where I am required to disclose by law. Wherever possible I would discuss it with you first.

We will go through all of this in your written working agreement before we begin.

How many sessions will I need?

It varies genuinely, so I am wary of anyone who answers this confidently before meeting you.

Some people come for six to eight sessions with something specific in mind. Others work over a longer period on something that has been there a long time. We review it together as we go, and you can stop whenever you want to.

Is online as good as in person?

It depends more on you than on the format. Some people settle quickly into talking from home. Others find that being in the room makes a real difference to them, and that is worth respecting rather than talking anyone out of.

Some people strongly prefer being in the room, and that is worth respecting. You can also mix the two, and plenty of people do.

What is Compassion Focused Therapy?

An approach developed for people whose difficulties are held in place by shame and self-criticism. It works with three systems in the mind, one that responds to threat, one that drives us towards things, and one that lets us feel calm and safe.

There is a fuller explanation on how I work.

Will it make me soft, or let me off the hook?

This is one of the most common worries, and it is worth taking seriously rather than dismissing.

Compassion here is not indulgence. It means being willing to turn towards what is difficult, and committing to do something about it. That takes more courage than self-criticism does. The work is not about lowering your standards, it is about changing what it costs you to hold them.

Do you keep notes?

I keep brief, secure notes, which is standard practice and a professional requirement. The privacy notice explains what is kept, how it is stored, how long it is kept for, and your rights over it.

What if I need help urgently?

I am not an emergency service and I cannot respond to urgent messages. Please see urgent help for services available right now.

How do I start?

Send me a message. It can be as short as you like. I reply to all enquiries within 24 to 48 hours.